Ki an tosa hronia perpatisame mazi / Ton teleftaio dromo tha ton kanw monos

I know this feeling - to +aisthima. Gyrizw allwste ta bar, den m' afinei na koimithw o nick cave, ta krina, i kinisi sou entos mou. I have caused it and more often, I have received it. Again, and again, and again. Ki omws liga pramata mporw na grapsw gia touto. Mono gia mena liga. Poia diladi i axia tis epikyrosis otan to prwi to sverko mou krywnei? O kafes giati na mila monos kai na min ton kalyptei to fili? Pros ti - afou anisiha dianyeis milia- i afxomiewsi ton kradasmon? Tha mou peis ti to afises, se eihe proeisopoiisi. Den ftes esy glykia mou. Aghape mou - kai eihe hronia na akousw tin lexi, perissotera akoma na tin proferw stous dromous. Hwris na afinw kena. Pafseis. Distagmoi. Just a minute. Den ftes esy - den milame edw gia fteximo. Kyriaki imera kai motto xana ergasia kai hara. Ha! Den ehw tin energeia na asholithw me tous typous. Oute me tin graphe. Hreiazome apot o prwi na milisw se kapoion. Na deixw ta dakrya mou se kapoion pou tha hamogela, kai etsi na ta hasw. Afinwntas ne hythei to spasimo, to thravsma - to mono thravsma pou misw, to thravsma tis aghapis. Thymame mia nyhta pou 'hes pei...kai pote den thelisa na se pistepsw. Se polemisa 2 hronia, epesa, me sikwses, kai na me xana. Ma hanw pia tin pisti, tin elpida. Prwi. [Den eimai methysemnos.] Anakalw stin mnimi ta kallesmata, to gegonos diladi tis anagnwrisis mesw tis ana/gnwsis tou thoryvou, tis auras tou pou dia. Pou dinei. Pou mou dia kai mou dinei, thee mou, oti apemeine ap' tin eftyhia. Mohtho kai syntrivi. Epistrefomena poiimata. Anases pou zitoun apozimiwsi. Hamogelw me sfiximo dimosia kai oiko/geniakos anagnwrizomai. Hwris na zw. You want to be let in? Where? Do you know waht it means cause pain? Not just receive it - cause it. And to none other than you, yourself. You say, ppl, I am too nice. Not least because I am a defeated man. Apaisiodoxia. Diladi kakis aisthitikis gnwmi. Mporw panta na fevgw ap' tin pisw porta ton lexewn. Metaxy twn matiwn kai tis pisw portas omws kaneis den xerei ti yparhei. Mallon xerw - oti edw ftynw- to ihnos tis katastrofis pou se epistrefei mia zwi orizwntiws na ygaineis ta magoula sou. Kathe mia mia nea arche, kathe mia mia nea syntrivi. Ston kryo ilio tou londinou i epigramatiki prosfora. To parellthon einai to paron tis mnimis, kai gw ekana, i have been, always already, a mnemosyn/e|o. Kai epeidi eheis mathei, pikra, ton dromo, twra pia, kai i hronikotita den paizei ligostoi mou filoi rolo oso ki an einai i aitiotita, mporeis, mporw na ton kanw monos. Tha prospathisw. I fwni edw telegraphika [END]

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